Spend Time with your Child

Do you spend time with your child? Read. A child needs both mother and father to engage and bond with him. The child forms a relationship with each separately. How does he/she do so? by spending one-on-one time with each parent. Test yourself -  did you recently:
  • read a book to your child?
  • played a board game with her?
  • sit down for a meal with your child?
  • do a project with your child - cooking, building a structure with lego, sort laundry together, make lunch box together, set the table for dinner?
  • when was the last time you attended your child school's activity or after school activity?
  • how often do you turn on TV/Computer program or other media screen program to get some quiet time/down time for your self? (Read below)
  • When did you play outdoor with your child (ball, chalk drawing, crafting, nature search for animals...)
Spending time with your child means that your child had your full attention for 30 minutes or more. No other electronic media was on, you were not doing the family groceries shopping or cooking for the family. It is not the time the you drive and shuffle to activities.  It is the time that you had an eye to eye contact with your child. 

Why is it so important for fathers just like mothers? Spending quality time with our children is extremely important for their development (whether it is their brain development, social or emotional development). Parents are key players in supporting their child and creating a positive environment in which the child functions.  We must find ways to slow down and slip in some memorable time that will let our children know that we love and care for them. 

Many children will let you know in their own “subtle” ways if they feel that you are not giving them the attention that they need. Some will withdraw while others will “act out.” You might see it when a child gives “lip” to a teacher, fights with another classmate or resorts back to behaviors that once got your attention like increased crying, throwing tantrums or even bed-wetting. This is a way to capture your attention, albeit often negative, so that they can enjoy “focused” time with you. Essentially the thought process is, “if I can’t get her attention by doing something good, I’ll get her attention by doing something bad.” Nobody wants that!

So how can you find time when you don’t have any to spend? Here are some of the ideas:
  • Try not to over schedule your agenda. A child age 2 - 5 does not need more than one afternoon activity per week. 
  • Plan time during the week for a family meal.
  • Ask your child to help in preparing their lunch box.
  • Ask your child to help in sorting laundry.
  • Minimize TV/Electronic Media time, and allow your child a downtime, while playing in his room.